This card once upright can represent feelings of loss as a result of conflict or matters of the heart. Constant fear and worry have led you to this point of distress and it is keeping you up at night. Your busy mind is a lot more powerful than you may realize and it is the cause of all your misery. Going through tough times in life is part of the deal of being alive, and sometimes bad things happen and it is totally out of your control. You don't have to make things worse for yourself by overthinking and wishing you could do things differently. All this negative thinking will only make matters worse.
The crippling fear is something you have created yourself. You are being called to rise up to the occasion and transform these negative feelings into something more positive. You have the power to turn all of this around by focusing on the positive in your life and remembering all the blessings and abundance you actually have. You may not have been in control of what happened to you, but you are in control of how you respond and the next steps you can take. This card has shown up to help you empower yourself.
When the Nine of Swords is reversed, it is an indication that you are about to enter a period of positivity and light following a previous period of darkness. The card reveals a chapter of upcoming optimism and opportunity. When you are in the thick of a painful experience it can feel all-consuming and exhausting, but once you make it through to the other side it can feel like a tiny bump in the road. There is always healing that needs to take place after such a difficult time, so you need to be mindful and kind to yourself throughout this process. Try to be more conscious about the energy you give your thoughts and realize that bad things are going to happen, but it is important not to give it too much power. Surrender your need for control and try your best to just be in the flow.
Difficult experiences will happen throughout your life, just don't let them keep you up at night. Accept that things are going to happen that you can't control and it is just best to surrender to the process.